Category: landscape

the first time i met a bear


As my life has progressed, at different stages, I have relied on different music to drive me, to clarify me, to center me. I think a lot of people go through musical incarnations, and revisit certain records when they need to.
I always come back to the same sounds: Bill Callahan, Jason Molina, Will oldham, Mark Kozalek, Tyler Ramsey, Kurt Vile, Justin Vernon…
The day, years ago, when I was running with my dog on the Parkway AT trail and saw my first bear.. my grandmother (step) had just died, I needed to get OUT of my body, of my space. I remember rounding a curve in the path and making eye contact with this bear. I was listening to Bon Iver For Emma and sitting on a rock, my dog, unaware, on the leash next to me, while I sobbed and Justin Vernon told me what to do and how to heal and I asked the Bear for advice.
We had a conversation.
After a short while, I backed away down the path, back towards my car, real life, everything.. thanking the Bear while I walked backwards..
As I neared the last bend before reaching my car, Cease to Begin came on, and I sat on the hood of my car and wrote and wrote and wrote.
I have no idea where that journal is, probably in my storage unit somewhere, but I remember the feeling of letting everything come flowing out of my hand and letting go.
I also remember the feeling of being full, inspired, driven to keep writing and to go back down to town and keep moving.



neither here nor there

As we fly over the Blue Ridge Mountains I scrutinize the horizon for a speck of anything familiar, recognizable.

I feel like I can see for days. It’s so clear, merely misty as the light dew which settled on us Saturday night while we watched people

slowly filter out of the barn and we found our loves around the fire.
The plane flies North, the mist becomes thicker, more textured, less wispy.

From up here, I see merely reflective spots where civilization should be. I see a huge desert, although instead of sand, only white

as far as I can see, patterned just as the sea and wind pattern dunes. And now, now the white entertains highlights of amber and

low-lights of Carolina blue and I miss North Carolina already.
The amber, oh!

The golden light creates this illusion of majesty, subtly convincing us that the layer of fluff beneath would be fortified were we to

choose to subject it to weight. The color continues to fade out of the sky and into the clouds, or at least it seems as such.


I silently will time to stop and suspend me neither here nor there.


365 day 191 – a perfect day

fort mcclary

365 day 127 – plum island in the rain

365 day 122 – bloom

365 day 77 – best day ever